Bad night

Another bad night. Bree got so upset before bed because she thought no one wanted to talk to her. Teenage drama I suppose. Her seizures are getting worse, not better. We go back to Winston Salem on Monday, so I hope they will adjust the meds. On the other hand it is sad that she will be so drugged up. So very sad indeed. She had 9 seizures over night. She freaked out this morning when she woke up and noticed she'd lost bladder control during a seizure (This has happened before, several times in fact but I guess this is the first time she's ever been aware of it) Usually I change her before she becomes conscious again but I didn't really notice, I guess. Her seizures are so common now, we've gotten so used to them that now I just stroke her hair and make sure she's breathing and go on with my business and I didn't check. Well, she really freaked out. She's still upset. Calling her self worthless, useless, a loser. Saying she hates herself. "I can't do anything right." I've told her it's not her fault. Told her this happens very often during seizures. She doesn't want to hear anything of it. She certainly doesn't want to listen to the idea of wearing some type of protection to bed. Not even to spare herself the experience of waking up to wet sheets. "You've done it before," I tried to tell her. "Don't you notice or think about why you wake up wearing different PJs or pants?" "NO!" She said to me. I'll keep trying with her. But trying to convince a teenager to wear diapers or the disposable pull up underwear is like talking to a brick wall. She'd be embarrassed if I bought them at the store, but we could have them sent to the home from a medical supply place. I think if she tried it she would much rather have that then wake up with wet clothes again. I just hate that she had to wake up like that, but you can't shelter your kids from every bad experience.
She's out of it now, struggling to get her brain to function normally. Poor kiddo.